This is a great study for me to have, this Day 64, Loving My Husband… I do love my husband but I struggle being the “good or great wife” – I feel I should be treated a certain way and it almost never comes.. did I choose the wrong man? Is this a mistake? Does he not love me? Were there signs and whispers that I did not listen to? Hmmm being a believer, I know nothing is really a mistake – a challenge, an adventure, something to learn and grow by but never a mistake. So really who needs to adjust here him or me?Being a believer I have to take it all into perspective, I have to look at not only my husband’s actions, behavior and attitude but my own as well – in fact I need to ONLY be looking at mine and learn to let God look at his and talk and work with him…it is NOT MY JOB. Wow I just said it and said it out-loud to boot!
I went to a women’s weekend with this gal teaching ONLY Peter 3:1, that one simple (really not so simple) verse. My friend Patty took me and it was a great weekend, as much as it opened my eyes as to what is expected of me as a wife from God, it opened my heart to my husband too. BUT I still expected him to see the changes in me and bounce into shape in his Husband role too. Did not happen, I fell right back into that same trap.
Is it the test, my test, to get myself together, be consistent, and truly love unconditionally? I know it is Satan around every corner that jumps me back into like – what is he doing for me attitude – how do I stop that? How do I stop the feelings of being taken for granted with all that I do, or feeling lonely because I am not thought of out of the blue and his thoughts are himself first, or the emptiness in my “love tank” yearning for those lovie dovie words that he used to share when we were dating? I don’t seem to be able to do it and I crash every time I set out to make a difference.
There is a list of Men likes and dislikes in this study, I can honestly say there are several on the dislike list that I do and do consistently. I have been working on scratching some of them off even before we started this study – I believe in preparation for this very day’s reading!
On a good note, I can honestly say there are several things on the LIKE list that I do do and do it consistently! The challenge here is making sure your actions doing those items are giving the message to HIM that you are doing that – in other words speaking his “love language” so he recognizes those actions to be THOSE ACTIONS. It is hard for me to find that out from my husband because he holds back from me what he wants, needs or what speaks to him – why? Because I can make those changes especially with guidance but without he can still point a finger at me and say I am not meeting those needs – it is his way of having justification on not working on HIS side of things.
Boy, it is no joke when you are told a true loving unconditional “love relationship” is hard work – is it worth it I say an resounding YES! When you work at it God is always there and working with you, whispering to you – you just have to listen. There is a huge peace that comes over your heart as you achieve another level of growth in getting out of your selfishness, as your love grows deeper and as you are working on your earthly relationship with God, your relationship WITH God grows stronger and deeper too – so yes the hard work is worth it.
The two key things I need to remember, focus on ME and MY ACTIONS, and I doing what is pleasing God in how I am living my life and caring for the Gift he gave me (My Husband) and Look Up for my needs – enjoy the greatness God is bestowing on me, the peach he is bringing to my heart/life, and let HIM do his work on my husband – staying butted out!
Hard work, YES – Up for it YES – do I think I will stumble, yes I know I will but the key is to ask for forgiveness and to continue working and not give up!Dear Lord I Pray…
Dear Jesus.. today I pray for your hand to hold mine, to continue to guide me in what I am to do in situations. If I can ask you to speak a little louder through this struggle time with fighting acting on emotions and not acting on your direction would be great – I say to day, Satan you are banned from my relationship with my husband and God is my shield! The power & strength bestowed on me today will prepare me to fight off YOU and keep you out of my head and heart. My husband is a good man and a God fearing man and never intentionally hurts me though you make me feel that way. I pray today that I will continue to focus on my actions towards my husband and be accountable for what I do – I am not his keeper and he has to pay his own price for hurting me or not doing what he is suppose to as a husband – I am not his “punisher”. Please help him to see he is also not my “tester” and might recognize what I am doing. Give me strength to continue to support him in hard family matters, to praise him for all he is doing, and appreciate the steps in the right direction he takes no matter how small they might be. In Your Name Jesus I Pray!